What Mama Says | About Valentines Day

Mama had a hair appointment, so we spent the day in Bangsar on Valentines Day.

"It's Valentines day today ma"

" Oh ya! It's the 14th is it? I completely forgot it's the 14th"

"Ya! The restaurants are going to be all packed tonight"

"So...is Bob taking you out tonight?" she didn't really say Bob.

"No, maybe tomorrow"

"Did he buy you flowers?"

"No. No he didn't," I say.

 (He thinks they're too mainstream..Yea whatever, who needs flowers anyway :< )

"Oh..Maybe you can get him a book"

"What kind of book?"

"...a book about what you should do for Valentines day"

x

What Mother Says | Who she's staying with

We were driving back from dinner when my mum said,

"You knowwww, I was thinking hehehe. Who am I going to stay with next time? 

Then I decided, I'm going to stay with youuu!"

"Oh, wow"

"Yea! You're the lucky one! Most fortunate!"

"Yea so fortunate"

"But let me tell you first, I'm not staying home to take care of grand children."

"But motherrrr, I thought I'm supposed to drop them off with you!"

"Drop them off where?," mum asked in shock. "Drop them off in my room? I'm staying with you! .... and I didn't even stay home to take care of you why am I going to stay home and take care of grandchildren?"

She continues,

"You know they say, two women should never be in the same kitchen, don't worry it won't be a problem."

"Yea I know, I'm not worried"

"I'm not even going to go in.. because I don't cook anyway. You can have the kitchen all to yourself"

She's staying with me guys, I guess this 'What Mother Says' segment will be going on for a long time.

x

What Mother Says | A cute guy.

My mum just got back from her teaching trip in the US
and she excitedly came over to me and said....

"Ehhh!! Trish! You know I saw this really cute guy who was doing volunteer work at the institute"

"Okay mum"

"I told him I have a pretty daughter"

"Mhmm"

"Then I showed him your picture"

"What?! o.o"

"Yea! and he was blushing all the way! his friends agreed that you were pretty and he's a doctor!....

but he's specializing! He's going to be an Ophthalmologist. That's not an optometrist."

"I know mum"

"He's 24 years old and he's not very tall, taller than most guys here but not tall for an American.
 I took a picture of him come and see"

*glances over*
He was okay, he looked like an angmoh

"Isn't he cute?" she continues "...he's also very well brought up and very polite, I really like him. 

His father is a doctor"

"Are you trying to date me off?"

"No, I'm just saying that........

if you want to be his friend I also got his contact so you can be friends with him"

"What? Nothing wrong with being friends what."

Ladies and gentleman, 

my mother.

What Mama Says - Being stylish in the face of haze-versity.

Mum's was very concerned about Mama during this time and went out to buy her a face mask.

"....that's why I you need to wear the haze mask" I hear a concerned mum tell mama convincingly.

"trixh, your mum bought me a mask for the haze, I want to show you.

Go and get it for me, it's in her handbag"

I dig around mums bag and find a large white folded mask.

"This mask is huge, it looks so ugly!" 

I say in disbelief.

"Eh trixh! Don't let your mum hear that, you know, she will be very offended that you call it ugly" 

mama says sarcastically.

"This is supposed to be the best mask! The only one that effectively blocks out the haze!" 

mum argues.

 "She bought this mask for me and asks me why I don't want to wear it. 

Bring it here I'll put it on and show you why,"

mama continues.

OH MY GOODNESSSS!!!

I burst out laughing. It was hilarious. My grandmother is a comedian.

"trixh, your mum told your aunty that I refuse to wear the mask she bought for me. Can you take a picture with your telephone? Send it to her and tell her I will  only wear it when she wears it out"

........




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.

She also made me send one to my uncle. 

My grandmother, so modern ah she?

Oh mama, you're a riot! :*

Ps: Do you love my title? Face of haze-versity, get it get it? face!

Mama tales.

Happy Sunday err'body!

I'm having a paper tomorrow and I really should be studying, but instead my brain's deciding that everything else is more important.  Like when I went downstairs just to get water, it decided I was hungry and I ended up making a cheese omelette instead.
But well, priorities are priorities! 

So instead of fighting it, I decided I could use a break. I've been studying since 8.....

and working hard at making omelettes, I think I deserve it.

I was going through my pictures and I miss mama, she's in Perth now, doing what Perth people do (retire).

And I found this picture of her and started chuckling to myself.

Mama is very concerned that she eats too much every time she comes to KL.

But I'm pretty sure that's one of the main reasons she comes here, the food. 

Where else is she going to get Char Kuey Tiow?

So whenever I ask her "Ma, do you want *insert food name here*?"

She'll shake her head at me and say she only wants to eat bread and oats and other boring things like that.

Maybe she wants to get in shape for summer or something I dunno, but anyway, I found a way around this.

I'd go up to her waving something like mango pudding in my hand (which she loves)

and I'll say,

"Ma! I got you this mango pudding you like!"

She'll start to shake her head and wave her hand and I'll say,

"It's ok! Just try a small tiny spoon! I'll eat the rest!"

 *big grin*

She'll quickly take a spoon and then push the rest towards me.

"I'll get it later ma, I'm gonna go wash my hands first"

or some other ridiculous excuse like that.

Then she'll slowly inch her hand toward the pudding cup and take another spoon.

"I think I can eat this, it's not too sweet ya trixh?"

"Ya ma, it's not too sweet!"

*rubs palms together* my plan is working brilliantly!

"I'll eat half only and leave you the rest" she says

and by the time I get back,

"Aiyo, I only wanted to eat half, I ended up eating the whole thing! 

We can go to the supermarket and you can buy some more"

Look at mama, offering to take me to the supermarket to ease her guilt.

"It's okay ma, I don't really like it anyway"

Success! 

*in my head, I'm pumping my fist in the air*

I always find some entertainment in this because of the way mama tries to deny all the yummy food that I offer her, but always fails miserably and sheepishly reaches her hand toward the bowl to eat some more. 

Mama and her pudding cup. 

I have so many more pictures of her eating coconut jelly, char kuey tiow, etc 

but I can't seem to find it!

It's okay guys, she's 90. 

We let the woman eat what she wants.

and what she pretends not to want.

Ok, back to studying, you can do it brain!

What mother says - Snow White.

"Mum...Whyyy is there a mandarin outside??"

"Ooooooh" 

*in descending tone, I'm sure you know what I mean*

"You forgot you wanted to eat it is it?

"Nooooo" 

*in descending tone again*

Here I'm thinking don't tell me she wants to be festive and decorate the wet kitchen outside as well, 

this was during CNY.

"So what is it for then?"

She gave me this guilty, wide eyed shrug and then she said...

"It's.......for.......

.....thesquirrelthatcomestoourhousesometimes"

Oh boy.

She's been leaving mandarins and other fruit outside our house
so that a particular random squirrel will come to visit her. My mother thinks she's Snow White, it's true.

-

Later, we were talking about potentially moving and I said,

"We can try moving nearby, to a condo" 

"Yea but we have to see if they take pets because of the dogs. Some places don't allow pets 

and we have 2 dogs and a cat....

.....and potentially a squirrel"

Oooooohhh booyyyyyy 

*descending tone*

x

What mama says - wise words.

Mum was talking about renovating our house the other day. 

"The renovation is going to cost a lot. 
That's why I'm waiting for you going to become a millionaire" 

mum says.

Now, 
here's what happens when we put mama (my grandma) into the mix of things.

"How are you gonna do that trixh?" mama asks.

"Hmmmm.....probably marry a rich man heeeeh" I say jokingly.
No really, I am kidding.

"Marry a rich man? Haha! Yes that's a good idea! 

Actually maybe I shouldn't be giving you this type of advice," 

mama says.

"It's okay mama I'll make my own money"

"Making your own money? That's too slow. 

Shall we put it in the newspaper 'in search of rich man? Tell them age is not a matter!"
mama laughs.

"Say the older the better"

"I'm going to Hong Kong soon, I'll search for one for you okay? "

"Hahaha okay I hope he's a tycoon"

Oh mama! You crack me up.

What Mother Says - Facebook.

Since my mum got facebook, I've been seeing her in a whole new light.

"Mum...stop checking your facebook so we can discuss what we're going to do tomorrow!"

"Mum....do you really need to check facebook while you're walking"

"No Mummm I don't want to take a picture next to that flower!"

Really, did anyone ever see this happening?  But it's okay la, I guess parents wanna be "in" and "hip" too.

Today however, was where I knew it was becoming serious.

I was eating rambutans when a bug flew up from the bunch and landed in front of me.

"OMG!! Is that a bug! It's furry!!"

and I looked around for a tissue to KEEEL it!

"That's a bug!??? 

*pauses* 

Wait wait! WAIT! Don't kill it!"

"WHY! IT'S SO GROSSS!!!"

"I want to take a picture of it first"

".....are you serious?"

*fumbles around bag for phone*

At this point it started wiggling around and I was shuddering so I KEELLED it!!

"Tsk! I told you not to kill it!"

"MUM...IT'S A BUG! Don't be one of those people"

 Parents these days. All they think about is playing Facebook. 

I remember a time where they would just kill the bug without needing to take a picture of it.

The America Diaries x What Mother Says | Episode 4 - P.F. Changs

"Oh look there's a P.F Changs here. We'll go there for dinner" mum says.

What's that?

"It's angmoh Chinese food."

 (American chinese food)

Why do we wanna eat there? o.o

"When I went to visit a friend in San Francisco out of all the places to go, you know where he brought me?
 P.F Changs. 

When I came back to LA I saw another friend, you know where she brought me?

P.F Changs.

Now we're in Pasadena, you know where I'm gonna bring you? 

P.F Changs."

-

"This place is the atas Chinese food, it's really popular among the Americans.
You notice there are no Chinese in here."

Well yea, if I can eat legit Chinese at home why do I wanna pay to eat American Chinese food?

That's like going into Italiannies and saying there are no Italians in here.

-

What are egg rolls mum? I always hear angmohs talk about it.

"Aiyah it's that roll we always eat, the fried one."

What?! You mean popiah? There isn't even egg in it!

-

In true American Chinese fashion, I got a fortune cookie at the end of my meal!

Btw, everyone knows that fortune cookies are not Chinese right? They were made in California....

just like Chop Suey.

A pony.. Joseph Gordan Levitt...Tom Hiddleston...
..either one on a pony!

What mother says - Spaghetti Bolognese

I don't know about you, but sometimes I have cravings for the most random food.
I spend my whole day thinking about it and anything else I eat just doesn't cut it for me, like wasted stomach space.
And usually, nothing stops a craving.

So when mum asked, "What do you wanna eat for dinner?" I could only think of one thing.

Juicy chunks of minced beef, slowly simmered in fragrant herb to soak in the flavour. A rich combination of tender meat and  fresh vegetable, served with hot spaghetti.


This was odd you see, I'm usually a rice and soup kinda person but that day, all I was thinking about and all I wanted was Spaghetti Bolognese.

"I really really want to eat Spaghetti Bolognese" I tell mum, a dream cloud of yummy Spaghetti Bolognese forms over my head.

"No no no, we're not eating Bolognese"

The bubble pops.

"But but but Mum! You don't understand!"

"Bolognese is the only type of spaghetti I can cook. Eat anything you want, order anything, anything at all, except Bolognese! If you want I can cook it for you another day"

"But but but I want to eat it today" I whine.

"No Bolognese!"

I didn't get my Bolognese that day.
And for the record....she still hasn't made it for me either.

And also, after writing this, I feel like eating Bolognese.

What mother says - What to do with all this extra cuteness?

 I was a really fat baby.
When I was a year old, people would ask my mum if I were 2 because I was big and really solid
 (it's okay, I think fat babies are extra cute #consolesself).
My mum says the cause of my ahem "extra cuteness" was my maid who used to stuff me and said I'd look more prosperous!

"You know what she used to feed you! She used to feed you chocolate milk and rice for dessert!
My goodness! I was so afraid you were gonna be a 300 pound teenager" mum says,
"...then you'd be a 300 pound adult and it'd be more difficult to find a husband. You were a year old and I was already thinking of how I was gonna put you on a diet in your 20s."

Oh mother!

On a different note,

"Don't go and take ugly pictures of me and put it on your block, don't say anything about me and put it there.
Do you talk about me on your block?"


" No mother, never! I wouldn't dare dream of it!"


Heh heh heh.

Read my other entries on What Mother Says here

What my parents say - Tony Bennett

I was having dinner with my dad when...

" Omg dad look! Tony Bennett is coming down! You wanna go watch!?!!?"

" Nice meh?"

" Yea!! Don't you love all his oldies?"

" Not very keen. Not my zaman"

" What!"

Some days later with Tony Bennett still on my mind,

WHO are these people?!

What mother says - Mum and the mouse.

How my mother effectively deals with vermin :

//
I came home and asked her where she put it,
she said below the sink outside so it wouldn't be so hot.
Oh mother! she's hilarious.

//
update : No one got rid of it so it's still in the cage outside.
My mum gave it apple and bread today. She even gave it water.
She told me to release it into the jungle before it dies in the cage.

What mother says - good "jenes"

You know how you feel about Instagram and your constant need to check it?

That's how my mum feels about 4 pics 1 word and I think I'm pretty good at it, if I do say so myself haha  *looks upward into the distance*

" Trixh, do you know what this is?"

"Hmmm....Oh I know. Sigh, no brainer mother! So good at this. Aaaamaze myself," I say dramatically.

"Haha, well you know where you get your good genes from don't you?"

"Hmmm...yea .....

.....Topshop"

"Ohhhh booooooyy," says an exasperated mum, rolling her eyes.

"Hahaha! But meedder I'm sooooo punny!"

-

Right guys right? right? getit getit!? genes! hur hur hur!

What mother says - Air Supply Edition.

Why hello there! I just got back from Air Supply!

AaAaAAAaaaaahhh!

It was s'good! 

*eyes sparkle*

 

They're so good live! 

*eyes sparkle sparkler*

While most people were at Good Vibes, I was partying at Air Supply with my mum haha!

You can probably guess what age group the crowd at the concert fell under - or over hur hur hur.

Mum and I were making oldie cracks throughout the concert.

But don't get us wrong, we love Air Supply! and Air Supply was mums time so most of the crowd were around her age. 

It's just that, we just can't control ourselves... most of the time.

"Oh look at all these people here, all the older crowd, around my age.. 

Oh! there are some young people, their parents must've brought them along. 

I should tell people my daughter brought me along. Not the other way around."

-

 It was quite a walk from the parking lot to the hall and when we found out seat I said,

"This is the most civilized concert I've been to. Everyone's sitting down."

"They must be tired from walking to the parking lot, too tired to stand up anymore."

"Hey mum..they used to be a lot fitter"

"..they were younger..used to run around the stage more, Now they look at the stage they ask -
Why is it so big??!" 

-

I was going a little crazy during the concert.

I mean it's Air Supply and I love Air Supply, have I  mentioned?

 "Making loooove out of nothing at all..."
" MAKING LOVE!" I would chime in for back ups.

I'm sure if Russell and Graham could hear me they'd be very impressed haha.
The lady seated next to me -who was clapping along politely-  however, was probably less impressed.

"Wooohhhh!!! OOOoow oOoOow oOoOo!!!!!!"

"People must be looking around in shock thinking - OH MY GOODNESS! There's a young person in here! Don't embarrass me okay, don't cramp my style," said mum.

 -

"Russells always going back stage, sometimes I wonder what he does back there," Graham says.

"...he's going back there to count the money hahaha!" mum whispered jokingly.

-

"The last time we were in Kuala Lumpur, it was 32 years ago!" Russell Hitchcock announces.

"Trixh, you see all the people here? They were probably following them since 32 years ago...then the next time they come down, they'll need to bring their walkers!hahah"

-

"Mum there are St. Johns here. You know just in case things get too rowdy and somebody gets hurt"

"Yea! Maybe just in case someone who's standing in the front is clapping too loud and his heart can't take it"

 -

 

"He's asking us to go to the front! Let's go Trixh!"

"If we're lucky they might jump into the crowd to crowd surf later and we might catch them hahaha"

 -

"Thanks for bringing me. Reviving the youth in me. Making me feel young again."

"I bet you almost wanna stand on your chair and scream, I might have to hold you back mother."

"Actually...I would if we were anywhere else. Here, I'm scared people might recognize me"

-

After the concert, there were still a lot of people hanging around the hall,

 "Wow mum, look at the people here. Still up, probably the latest they've been out. Maybe there's an after party! hahaha"

"Hahaha what after party? They probably had to take heart pills just because they sat in the front!"

-

" I think his voice used to be more crisp"

"Mum..that was 30 years ago, give chance, they still really good"

" You're right, they still got it. I really enjoyed the concert. They must be really tired after."

"No after party for them"

"Probably need help putting yoko (muscle ache medicine) on their backs after the concert!"

"Hahah! when they take off their shirts, they already have Salonpas (muscle ache patches) all over underneath!"

Soooo, it was a really good concert la! 

If they were playing for 2 days I might just go both days!

*Eyes sparkle sparkler than a sparkler*

 Mum: That was good! I guess you know what I'll be playing in my car for the next few days.

What mama says.

My mum and my grandmother are talking about my grandmother's stay in Singapore.

"Ma, why don't you invite your friends out for a meal or tea at a hotel? 

You should enjoy yourself more, if not now then when do you want to enjoy yourself?" 

Said mum to mama, to which mama replies,

"Enjoy myself? I always enjoy myself! That's why my pants are so tight now."

Oh mama!

.

What mother says.

A few days ago, I was holding on the hair dryer when I pulled too hard on the wire;
the plug head flew off the socket and hit me right in the shin, giving me an immediate bruise.

"Owww! Mum! The plug flew at me and hit me in the shin!" I say.

Now, one would normally expect a mother to offer some words of comfort.
A stroke on the head maybe, a warm beverage perhaps.
In hearing what I say, mum looks at the bruise and puts her arm around me. She then laughs and says,

"Ah! I brought the right daughter home. Apple hasn't fallen too far from the tree!"

Oh mother!