As preaanounced, today's post is about the title above!
Okay but hold on!
It is expected of the guy to, right? Isn't it a social norm?
I thought it was anyway, but when I asked a few friends of mine the exact question, not everyone shared the same views on whether a guy should get the bill on a date or not.
Argument 1.
We're always talking about gender equality, so why shouldn't we go dutch?
I tell you why. Because even with all this gender equality talk, most girls still like to be spoiled and feel that they are taken care of. Yes, women these days are very in dependant and have stopped waiting for their husbands to come back from hunting mammoths. Some earn more money and know more about cars. But when it comes down to it, most girls still want to be taken care of and letting them pay on a first date is not impressionable at all. It's probably the first and smallest thing you could take care of and failing to do so...What? should I pull out your chair for you and open your door as we get into my car and I send you home?
Adding to that, most people aren't so direct as to say " You wanna go on a date?" sometimes it's "You wanna go for dinner?". If she's been a friend for a long time, how is she gonna know it's a date? Maybe you just wanna hang out. So if you go dutch, it only reaffirms that you are just hanging out and it's not a date. Her only question would probably be why you're dressed so nicely and why you picked sucha fancy place. Don't wanna try burger bakar kaw kaw meh?
Argument 2.
If the guy pays then you'd feel you owe him something and if you aren't interested, well that's worse. And if you're able to pay then why not? Show him you know how to take care of yourself.
According to a friend, when a girl pays or insists on splitting the bill it's a tell tale sign she's a hard one to please. She might not accept your gifts, and gifts are the easiest way to please a girl.
And I don't disagree.
Most guys like to feel macho and manly, so for a girl to insist on paying, she's probably too much of a power woman. Must play damsel in distress sometimes, don't you read story books? Guys diggit.
In a less than diplomatic reasoning,
If a guy asks you out he's probably more interested in you than you are, him.
So there you are, going on a date with someone you might not be interested in, going to a place he picked and spending my time with someone who may or may not be the most boring person in the world. Then comes the end of the date and you go halfsies on the bill. With all the time invested in the evening and having to pay for his dull company... Might's well throw money on the highway.
I guess it's a different story if the girl asked the guy out, maybe she should pay? I haven't seen that yet, so let me know what the norm is in that situation. But then again, imagine having the waiter come to you and saying "Oh no, not me, her!" *shamelessly points to girl sitting across him* Be more man la, don't you watch movies? Girls diggit.
And anyway, as a guy wouldn't you want to bring out all the big guns to swoon her on the first date?
Like open her door for her, pull out her chair, stand when she leaves the table, lay your cloak over a puddle for her to cross it, you know that sorta thing.
Girls don't have it easy either! They do their part in trying to win guys over also. Like fixing their hair, magically making their eyelashes longer and eyes bigger, spending an hour to fix the wing of their eye liner, picking out what to wear, smelling nice and not tripping over their 5 inch heels.
What you mean it's a scam? Just as the long lashes, big eyes and make up gradually goes away, so does the door opening and chair pulling out. So I guess it's fair. No?
Okay, need to pack (again) now. I just realized in the past 5 months of me travelling, I've been following winter. Damn. D: #fwp
Okay but hold on!
It is expected of the guy to, right? Isn't it a social norm?
I thought it was anyway, but when I asked a few friends of mine the exact question, not everyone shared the same views on whether a guy should get the bill on a date or not.
Argument 1.
We're always talking about gender equality, so why shouldn't we go dutch?
I tell you why. Because even with all this gender equality talk, most girls still like to be spoiled and feel that they are taken care of. Yes, women these days are very in dependant and have stopped waiting for their husbands to come back from hunting mammoths. Some earn more money and know more about cars. But when it comes down to it, most girls still want to be taken care of and letting them pay on a first date is not impressionable at all. It's probably the first and smallest thing you could take care of and failing to do so...What? should I pull out your chair for you and open your door as we get into my car and I send you home?
Adding to that, most people aren't so direct as to say " You wanna go on a date?" sometimes it's "You wanna go for dinner?". If she's been a friend for a long time, how is she gonna know it's a date? Maybe you just wanna hang out. So if you go dutch, it only reaffirms that you are just hanging out and it's not a date. Her only question would probably be why you're dressed so nicely and why you picked sucha fancy place. Don't wanna try burger bakar kaw kaw meh?
Argument 2.
If the guy pays then you'd feel you owe him something and if you aren't interested, well that's worse. And if you're able to pay then why not? Show him you know how to take care of yourself.
According to a friend, when a girl pays or insists on splitting the bill it's a tell tale sign she's a hard one to please. She might not accept your gifts, and gifts are the easiest way to please a girl.
And I don't disagree.
Most guys like to feel macho and manly, so for a girl to insist on paying, she's probably too much of a power woman. Must play damsel in distress sometimes, don't you read story books? Guys diggit.
In a less than diplomatic reasoning,
If a guy asks you out he's probably more interested in you than you are, him.
So there you are, going on a date with someone you might not be interested in, going to a place he picked and spending my time with someone who may or may not be the most boring person in the world. Then comes the end of the date and you go halfsies on the bill. With all the time invested in the evening and having to pay for his dull company... Might's well throw money on the highway.
I guess it's a different story if the girl asked the guy out, maybe she should pay? I haven't seen that yet, so let me know what the norm is in that situation. But then again, imagine having the waiter come to you and saying "Oh no, not me, her!" *shamelessly points to girl sitting across him* Be more man la, don't you watch movies? Girls diggit.
And anyway, as a guy wouldn't you want to bring out all the big guns to swoon her on the first date?
Like open her door for her, pull out her chair, stand when she leaves the table, lay your cloak over a puddle for her to cross it, you know that sorta thing.
Girls don't have it easy either! They do their part in trying to win guys over also. Like fixing their hair, magically making their eyelashes longer and eyes bigger, spending an hour to fix the wing of their eye liner, picking out what to wear, smelling nice and not tripping over their 5 inch heels.
What you mean it's a scam? Just as the long lashes, big eyes and make up gradually goes away, so does the door opening and chair pulling out. So I guess it's fair. No?
Okay, need to pack (again) now. I just realized in the past 5 months of me travelling, I've been following winter. Damn. D: #fwp
Lol! Nicely written and argued. I diggit.
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