Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Didn't like The Fault in Our Stars.

"Have you watched TFIOS?" I would ask. Any. Girlfriend.

" OMG YESS OMG It's so goood! I cried I was like sniffing the whole way through the movie! It's my favourite movie ever! Do you like it?"

"Uhm well,"

"It's so good right? Omg did you cry?"

"Uhm well,"

"You robot."

As per my title, yea...no. I did not like the movie. As soon as the movie started I knew it was going to be a sadder movie than Twilight.

 Okay yes I admit, my eyes got blurry at some parts. I'm still human okay?!

What I didn't like about the movie, was how utterly depressing it was. Throughout the movie, it was like there was...no there was! this melancholic feel in the air. I've almost never felt sadder than I did in those 2 hours of my life.

How can you come out of the cinema and dub this the best, most favourite-st movie you've ever seen in your life? HOW!? You watch it sad and you come out of there sad.

It was as if John Greene sneakily made a giant paper airplane of depression and released it into to all our unsuspecting movie screens. Asshole.

You know what was a good movie? The Notebook. That was heartfelt and they ended up together and we all came out of that movie blowing are noses and smiling.

I came out of TFIOS and I was like..."Shit, I feel so depressed now."

Abit of a spoiler here, I'll tell you when it's over* --------->

You go through the whole motion of her not being able to breath, then her painfully walking up like 20 flights of stairs, going to the hospital, him bleeding, ambulance and the whole time you're wondering;

"Okay okay okay it's happening now, oh no son you not going to Amsterdam now"

 "Okay Okay, OKAY! Is he going to die now? Is SHE going to die?...shitt....everyone in this movie is going to die"

"everyone is going to die" 

"I think I should go for a check up." - Don't lie, I know you thought it!

Even at the end, where he talks about how much he loves her and she closes her eyes. *end credit scene* You be like;

" Okay okay okay...did she die???"

And you aren't sure whether or not to feel happy or sad?
Like okay he died now she doesn't have him or did she also die? That's not very good news but I guess she'll die too so that's good right so they can be togeth...no wait did I really just wish she'd die? WHUuuuuuUuuUuT!

<--------------------------------------------------------  Okay! It's over!

This story is like a thriller la really. The slowest, realest, thriller. ever. EVER.

I also must admit I've never developed such feelings of kinship toward a fictional character. It made me think about a lot of things and how petty they are -

How couples are trying so hard and fighting to stay together (because one or the other is dying) and conversely, how people get in and out of relationships, break up and down, cheat, lie, or tell you they love you and tell someone else the same thing the very next week. Yea, things like that. Disgusting and depressing.

Or  how people are fighting to stay alive and doing all they can, and in contrast people are just jumping off buildings, taking their own lives in suicide bombings or randomly killing. Depressing! and so so disgusting.

All this made me even sadder about all the things going on in the world and how we get upset that they didn't give us a biscotti with our coffee today. Like how there's an infinity of sadness around and we're just lalala-ing it away in our nice little air conditioned bubble. SAD.

But anyway back to it, it's not a good movie. Good movies make you feel good after watching it, not solemn like you just came from a funeral. The only thing good about this movie are the actors A+ and that it's thought evoking (but I could have gotten this from A Walk to Remember, Million Dollar Baby or even Warrior ) Other than that, nyeh. I do not recommend it.

I conclude by saying : Things that DO NOT make you feel good are NOT good.
And also just like Twilight, this movie is over rated and on behalf of the girls everywhere, I apologize that you guys had to take your girlfriends to watch this movie and watch them sob and squeal through it.....and I'm also sorry you had to pretend that you liked it.

So let's put this movie behind us and ...

Let's all just watch The Hobbit instead. K guys? K!


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