Sunday, March 24, 2013

Friendzoning friendzoners who friendzone.

Lemme start this post off with a story. An almost cliche old as time.

Once upon a time, in a far away land surrounded by stately terrain and glistening streams, where wildlife roam free and where flowers bloomed never in slumber, there lived a man named GaryBary.

GaryBary was a man like any other, manlike in stature, a nose that sat between his cheekbones, a pair of eyes not more not less and lips that delegated speech. Yes, GaryBary was a man like any other.

GaryBary had many friends and one of them was a girl named LinaRina.
GaryBary and LinaRina were close friends. But incase you were wondering, no, GaryBary and LinaRina were nothing more than friends who felt nothing of the romantic sort for one another.

A ways down the road however, an epiphany struck GaryBary while he was taking a leisurely stroll by one of the glistening streams. He had the sudden realization that he had more than platonic feelings for LinaRina. With feelings, though abrupt,  as vehement as this,  all he desired to do was spring from couches with his fist pumped in the air, preferably on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

However, GaryBary knew that LinaRina was surely uninterested in GaryBary. How was he to hide these feelings from LinaRina? "No matter" said GaryBary to himself " I will treat her as any friend, as I normally do."

With the passing months GaryBary would go the extra mile and out of his way for LinaRina because of these fortified feelings. Would she or anyone else question him about his  about his nice-ness he would dismiss it saying he does all those things in the name of friendship.

One day LinaRina falls head over heels for a guy named EarnestErnest who was often earnest. She spends her time with EarnestErnest and GaryBary feels the sting.

"How could she do this to me?" an enraged GaryBary says to himself. "After all I've done for her! she's unappreciative and takes me for granted! I go out of my way for her and it's clear that I'm a good friend, the better company, yet she chooses to spend all her time with EarnestErnest who she thinks is earnest! He's obviously just telling her what she wants to hear! And she does this to me even though I've been such a good friend to her. She friendzones me! She goes and falls for this.. this " GaryBary is then so filled with rage that he tears himself in Rumpelstiltskin

The End.


I almost hate it when I hear someone say they've been taken for granted by a girl or guy just because they had feelings for the person and he/she didn't feel the same. What is this? A bitchfest over how she's obviously the one with the problem because she doesn't feel the same?...yes that's exactly what it is.

I think it's ridiculous to say so especially if the girl/guy never asks any of those things of you but you do it in the name of "friendship" then get all agitated and toss around words like "been taken for granted" or "picked him over me" or even something as blatant as "why can't I be less of a nice guy." *eye twitch till eyebags form*

Guess this only applies to those who don't fess up and just continue with their "friendship gestures".

Actually I'm not sure why I'm even writing this post. It's almost like having to explain how you know when the postman comes to your house (the answer is...when you have mail) but I already started so I might as well end.

Here's the thing, because of these one sided feelings you're putting yourself in the position of being taken for granted because naturally by liking this girl/guy you'd want to do things for her.

Does she expect it? no. Does she ask for it? no.

..and because she doesn't have the same feelings, she's obviously not gonna do the same. While she may appreciate your "friendship gestures" you really can't expect the same treatment. If she's a b*tch she'll probably take advantage of this then maybe you can toss around the "being taken for granted" but hey, if she's that kinda person and you knew it in the first place you got no one to blame but yourself...guess you're just attracted to that certain kind. Can't really blame her can you? Especially since she's just being herself.

Now moving on to friendzoning. I especially hate it when that word is used in bitterness. Unless it's used lightheartedly as you pity laugh at someone you see on 9gag. lol!

If she/he doesn't know you have feelings for her/him you can't really call it friendzoning can you?
Because that's exactly what it is. If she didn't see you as anything else in the first place you cant call it friendzoning because if not she's friendzoning everyone who she only sees as a friend therefore making the term redundant no?

It's kinda like Flounder going up to Ariel and saying "you freakin friendzoned me! I carried you ashore after you lost your tail and I never get the same treatment! Then you pick Prince Eric over me. You take me for granted you tramp!"...which makes almost no sense...because Flounder is her friend..and also a fish.

And finally, to her picking the asshole/un-earnest Ernest/scum and you being a nice guy who always finishes last, let's listen to Jenna Marbles. Heads up! a lot of swearing in this video:

She has a point, though exaggerated as it may be. That's why the geek always goes after the most popular girl in school in almost every 90's teen movie you watch. Then he realizes that she's not for him and the person that was there all along, his friend from the start of the movie, is his true love.
Even Bowling for soup has so eloquently put it :

Cause she is watchin' wrestling 
Creamin' over tough guys 
Listenin' to rap metal 
Turntables in her eyes 

She likes 'em with a mustache 
Racetrack season pass 
Drivin' in a Trans-Am 
Does a mullet make a man? 

Now I am watchin' wrestling 
Tryin' to be a tough guy 
Listenin' to rap metal 
Turntables in my eyes 
I can't grow a mustache 
And I ain't got no season pass 
All I got's a moped...moped....moped..... 

It's like a bad movie 
She is lookin' through me 
If you were me, then you'd be 
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!" 
As I fail miserably, 
Tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want. 

Okay to be fair, everyone will be in this situation some time in their life where they like someone and the person doesn't feel the same. I guess the difference is how you handle it. Maybe you are a nice guy and that's great, maybe she picked another nice guy over you and I feel sorry for you. I'm sure someone better will come along :). But if you're going to shout from the rooftops and go around saying how much of a "nice" guy you are and all the time being "taken for granted" or "unappreciated" or "taken advantage of" and how she picked this un-earnest Earnest over you.. well...that doesn't make you sound like very much of a nice guy does it? Kinda makes you sound like a douche...who's also bitter.

So, please ah! If you never said anything or confessed any feelings you probably  have no right to use any of the terms above. It's downright ridiculous and also a little sad. However, even if you did confess your feelings and she's didn't feel the same don't be that guy who goes around proclaiming any of those things anyway. Hey, it's okay you'll get over it someone better is bound to come along.

The end.

1 comment:

  1. it will be weird if flounder confessed to ariel and they end up together. too weird for disney, just saying